THE SELF-CONFIDENCE GIFT
Today I had a lengthy telecon with my colleague Sheldon Daniel about exclusionary behaviours in the workplace and some techniques he uses for coaching clients through these kinds of challenges. Sheldon is brilliant at honing in on deeply embedded and hidden nuances that present obstacles to personal progress. The conversation caused me to reminisce on my life pre-consultancy and how navigating dated mindsets and cultural biases became a skillset. We reflected as we often do, on the issue of socio-cultural conditioning and how cultural norms and historical antecedents can predetermine how we exercise or respond to biases.
I shared how grateful I was to my father who ingrained in his children that we were ‘enough’. His own response to prejudices or biases of any kind was to deflect it as either ignorance or limitations of the person exhibiting the behaviours. My father’s teaching was a gift for me – a gift of self-confidence that others often struggle to achieve. That gift has served me well.
I remember once being affronted by a very dear senior executive who undisguisedly attempted to suppress my confidence and challenge my self-worth the day we first met. At the time I was conducting a communication diagnostic for a global communication strategy across several geographies. When I asked what he thought needed to happen, he curtly stated, “I think things should go back to how they were – when people knew their place”.
The poor man was perplexed that a woman of colour from the Caribbean had been positioned to lead the communications agenda. I gently and succinctly summarised my professional history – which of course distinguished me from others who had served in only one locale or a single industry. I also – diplomatically - shared my keen interest in helping him to communicate better with a wider demographic.
By the next day remorse or perhaps wisdom set in and he revisited the conversation. I guess he realised that I’m not that easily daunted. He later became a friend and trusted technical advisor. What I learned in those early years at home, is that I can’t allow anyone to dictate the narrative of who I am or what I can do. I was quite comfortable in being my own best advocate.
It’s not their story – it’s mine.
